i’m so sorry/ moth/ i’m sorry i didn’t pet you when i got home/ i’m sorry i filled my glass of water but not your bowl/ i’m sorry i didn’t respond to your meows or your scratches/ i’m sorry you always feel my pain/ i’m sorry i’m always in pain/ i’m sorry you heard me breaking and sobbing and dying behind that door/

i’m sorry the police and the paramedics scared you/ i’m sorry their boots were so heavy and dirty and they didn’t take them off/ i’m sorry you saw what i did to myself when they opened the bathroom door/ i’m sorry you saw the blood/ your little nose confused between instinct and love/

thank you for choosing love/ stepping around the blood and the big boots and the empty pill bottles/ thank you for shoving your head into my bloodstained palms/ thank you for loving me when i couldn’t pet you back/

i’m sorry i forgot to fill your food bowl before they took me away/ you must have been so scared and confused/ i’m so sorry/ my love/ i promise i won’t do that to you again/